This is the eleventh in our series of emails called “How I Monk.” In this series we will be highlighting + celebrating members of the Monk Manual community as they’ve meaningfully applied our tools and resources to find peaceful being and purposeful doing in their everyday lives. If you’d like to be featured in a future “How I Monk,” share your information with us here… #HowIMonk
Name: Dera Jardine Nevin
Occupation: Consultant, Technology - Digital Insights & Risk Management
Where are you based: New York City, NY
Website/Social:
https://quentinimprints.com/
https://deejardine.substack.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/deranevin/
Tell us a bit about who you are and how you spend your days...
I live in New York City and work as a technology consultant. My job can have unpredictable hours, with multiple demands on my time including late nights and travel. I also have many hobbies and interests that I enjoy pursuing, such as reading history and fiction, running and road racing, creative writing,and volunteering in park clean-up and through a community reading-to-audio recording program. With the many demands on my time, I sometimes found it hard to balance my commitments and have energy in reserve.
I also live alone and my family and friends are dispersed. To spend time with the people I love, I have to travel or make deliberate time to be with them. Maintaining strong relationships takes intention.
Practical Monk Manual Tip:
There’s a space in the Daily Pages where we can record what we are grateful for. At the end of each week, I review this to see who, if anyone, I have listed. I take a few moments to either call or otherwise connect with someone from that list. This practice has enriched my relationships, and I invariably find that one of these conversations or communications ends up being recorded among the “highlights” of that day!
What originally drew you to the Monk Manual?
I discovered the Monk Manual during the pandemic (May 2020) when I felt overwhelmed by everything going on and in the fog of endless days I had difficulty organizing my time. The approach of being deliberate about spending time on each of “doing” goals and “being” goals appealed to me, and helped me to see that we should consider our precious time as more than just the space in which we check off “to do” items. I realized that I might not be spending time on “being” goals. I decided to explore this method, and have been using it ever since!
When you were first getting started, what part of the Monk Manual did you struggle with most?
At first I struggled with engaging with the deliberate priorization of energy encouraged within the Monk Manual format, including reflecting on my days, weeks, and months. I started out using it primarily to record “to do '' items and ticking those off, or moving them from day-to-day. However, as I found myself moving some unfinished tasks from one day to the next, and then from one week to the next, I started to think whether those tasks really needed doing!
After about two months of using the Monk Manual every day, I really started to understand how the Monk Manual system was structured, and understood it was inviting me to subtract things from my days by prioritizing what was important to me personally, as well zeroing in on what tasks needed to get done. I understood the relationships between the monthly, weekly, and daily parts of the Monk Manual and saw how each reinforced and supplemented the others.
With this new understanding, I set out to implement the PAR method, spending time each evening reflecting on my day, thinking about what I learned, and taking a bit of time to plan my activities for the next day so that I could balance out my energy over the week. I also spend time each week through the Monthly and Weekly sections to identify and create time for "being" goals. I found it helpful each month and week to set only a few priorities, linked to themes.
By reflecting on each day using the Monk Manual and PAR approach, I can make small adjustments that clarify how I find purpose and meaning in my days. I am happier as a result, my relationships have added depth and complexity because I have created additional capacity for joy, and I can see how the days build upon each other and how I am living a more meaningful life because of how I intentionally spend my time.
Do you have a favorite prompt or section?
I really love the Daily Prompt “Ways I can Give”. I use this in a number of ways. Sometimes I reflect on a way that I can reach out to others, or support them directly by giving something tangible, or my time. But I also sometimes use this prompt to reflect on what I need to give myself, whether it’s additional sleep, self-encouragement, or self-compassion. Reflecting every day on what I can give reminds me that small acts of generosity can add up. It also reminds me to ensure I retain a balance between energetically giving to others and ensuring care towards myself in my energy, time, and talent outflows.
What suggestions would you give to new Monk Manual users?
Explore and stick with it. There’s no One Way or Right Way to do it! The specific practices I have used within the Monk Manual system have changed over time, and that’s been both good and helpful for me to keep on changing how I use it as my own needs change. Hopefully you also find that the Monk Manual enables a reflection for you on whether your days are generally lived according to your priorities and values, and helps you clarify for yourself what brings you purpose and meaning.
How has your life changed since using the Monk Manual?
I undertook the "yearly planning" exercise, now Life Atlas, in each of 2020, 2021, and 2022 for the upcoming year. I realized by reflecting on what I wanted my life to be about, that I wasn’t being deliberate about organizing my day-to-day activities around the relationships I really valued and the pastimes I enjoyed pursuing. For example, I enjoy writing, and I had always wanted to write a book, but I had believed I didn’t have time and that I would have to pursue this “when I retired”. But in analyzing how I spent my time, I realized that I could find just a little time each day to write, and if I prioritized this, it would add up over a week, month, and year.
By adding twelve minutes a day of writing into my daily schedule as I drank my morning tea, and creating a priority item for editing my writing each weekend, within the span of a year I had written a draft of my first book. I then spent time each day for a second year editing the book and getting it published. The result was the publication in March 2022 of my first book, The Journey's The Thing, Pandemic Essays which I published under a pseudonym, Dee Jardine. The book is a series of essays and a guide to finding clarity during periods of chaos and change. This book is now available in bookstores throughout the US, and through Amazon and Apple Books. It’s been an amazing process to watch and experience as this book finds its audience!
It was the PAR method of the Monk Manual that helped me unlock the time, and bypass the inner barriers that had previously prevented me from getting that done. I also credit Life Atlas which made me realize I was not taking the necessary steps to create space for my own dreams. In many ways, the themes I explore in The Journey’s The Thing reflect my own inner and spiritual journey that I experienced in implementing the Monk Manual system.
Meaningful Monk Manual Tip:
I also include mementoes within the pages, and it’s a treat to revisit some of my older Monk Manuals and see stickers, receipts from good meals, or movie or concert tickets stuck within the pages. These reminders reinforce that a life well lived involves taking time to be with others and celebrate the many little moments that enrich our days.
If you’d like to be featured in a future “How I Monk,” share your information with us here.
